They Should Remake “What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?” Starring Kim and Kyle Richards
Plus it's NIGHTBITCH time, bitch!
When I rewatched What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? this past week, I almost immediately found the story to be eerily familiar. A former child star tormenting her former film star sister on account of deep-seeded grudges? That’s Kim and Kyle Richards right there. Their arc across multiple seasons of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills essentially plays out like a modern retelling of the Hollywood classic. Both feature drama over real estate (“You stole my goddamn house!”), a children’s toy (the genuine Baby Jane Hudson doll and The Bunny, respectively), and the lasting impact of a deceased stage parent (Daddy and Big Kathy).
The parallels are so strong that the two actresses turned reality stars might as well take on the roles themselves. Kyle would obviously play the Joan Crawford character on account of her eyebrows, with Kim painting on her best Baby Jane drag. Lisa Rinna could even play the concerned, nosy neighbor. You mean all this time we could have been friends?
Until then, I’ll just have to rewatch Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon embodying the characters in Feud: Bette and Joan. Speaking of which, I never finished Capote vs. The Swans. That one was actually very Housewives-ian too — Capote was Jeff Lewis and the Swans were all the Real Housewives who go on his radio show. Anyway…
MORE TENSES
PAST — Why didn’t anybody tell me that there’s an unreleased Adele song called “But I Want To” that slaps. It was a cut track from 25 and I can’t stop listening to it. It’s like if Mumford & Sons were from Tottenham.
PRESENT — Jennifer Lopez literally recreated the mall scene from Soapdish. In the iconic film Soapdish, Sally Field’s character, a vain soap opera actress, regularly goes to a mall in New Jersey to be recognized whenever she’s in need of a confidence boost. Now, fresh off of her divorce announcement, JLo has seemingly taken a page from that book with a pap walk at an LA mall — escalator and all.
FUTURE — NIGHTBITCH bitch! The trailer for Amy Adams’s latest film, NIGHTBITCH (written and directed by Marielle Heller and based on the novel by Rachel Yoder) has finally been released. In it, Adams plays a woman who thinks she’s turning into a dog. And we will support it! She needs her Oscar and if NIGHTBITCH is night bitchin’ then this very well could be it. So long as we campaign and get out the vote. We’re in the fight of our lives…but when we fight, we win! And Amy Adams needs a win.